Initial idea Script: Second Draft

 Upon initial audience feedback from our first draft of the script we found that our project had a sound basis for a plot but many of the audience felt that it was not original or distinguishable enough from other film in the Thriller Genre. Taking this into consideration we decided to take a more unconventional approach through adding a mise en abyme in that the first portion is a smaller story which then proceeds to converge with the "real world" of our film.


scene one (real world)

The hand of an unknown man is seen placing a dvd into a dvd player, The camera then pans to the screen in which the titles are displayed

scene 2 (within film)

Doorbell rings.  David opens the door to find a briefcase sitting there. He looks around the area before he brings it inside. When investigating the briefcase, he finds an unseen object and a note stating nothing but, "He is coming."

scene 3 (within film)
A man approaches a woman asking where the directions to David's house, The woman is visibly horrified by the man whose face we have not yet seen however she tells him the directions and quickly hurries away

scene 4 (within film)

David and his friend, PAUL are discussing what to do and who the note could refer to, they decide to leave but David insists on going to get stuff from the shop.

paul: We can’t stay here, come on, we have to leave!

david: Hold on, we need to get food and some money first. we don't know how long we'll be away.


scene 5 (within film)
David returns home to find the door ajar, he approaches as our assailant chases him down, David hides in an alleyway as the shilouetted assailant approaches the same alleyway. The assailant then calls out "come on kid just give me it and I'll make it quick" David then jumps out at the assailant and they wrestle for the knife with David managing to overpower and Stab the assailant seemingly killing him before running home

Scene 6 (within film)

David returns home and proceeds to mourn the loss of his friend when in the background we see the assailant with visible stab wounds he then stabs David before turning directly to the camera and saying "I'm coming for you next"

Scene 7 (real world)

It is then seen that the viewer of the film is disturbed before a doorbell is heard, our viewer opens the door and looks shocked before the film cuts to black.